Thursday, May 3, 2012

Throat Punch Thursday - Tanning and Towing Edition

So by this time you have heard enough about the lovely leather skinned 44 year old mother form Jersey who looks like she's gaining on 60 and in trouble for supposedly putting her fair child in a tanning booth.  She of course denies doing anything wrong, claims the child was never in the actual booth, just in the room with her while she tanned - playing with protective goggles on.  She continues to downplay it by saying that "a lot of the other mothers bring their children with them too."  Really?

photo credit:

When I first got wind of this story, I thought what kind of tanning place allows a mother to bring children into the room with them? None I've ever been to in any of my prom, wedding or vacation preps.  Please.  I'm thinking Snooki must be the soul proprietor of this fine establishment.  I'm also guessing it's located down a poorly lit alley next to the laundromat that's just a front for a drug ring.  Now they are all in trouble.

Whether or not any of the allegations are true, just to look at this lady makes me want to give her a good hard punch square in the larnyx.  Lord knows if you miss and hit her face, it may very well crack into a million pieces and fall off - what kind of message is she sending to her daughter?  She who has the darkest tan wins is definitely not a motto this girl should be growing up with.  This award winning mother definitely and literally looks like she's had her head up her ass for far too long..

Speaking of assheads, I just couldn't pass up this story.  What in the holy hell were these grandparents thinking when they decided to connect their grandaughter's plastic toy car to their SUV with dog leashes attached to the trailer hitch dragging her around the neighborhood for the fun of it?  Are you telling me you couldn't find anything better to do?  There's no Chuck E. Cheese in your neighborhood? These fools are old enough to know better.

photo credit: Sarasota County Sheriff's Office
This special case of dumbassery comes complete with a DUI and a suspended licence on the part of the grandfather. Both were under the influence of alcohol and now face charges of child endangerment - luckily the girl was not injured and from what the grandmother said she was having fun.  The grandmother reportedly cheered the girl on from the back of the SUV and they had been doing it for quite awhile before they were caught.  They were spotted by a sheriff traveling at 5 -10 MPH so it's not like they were speeding down the highway or anything dangerous like that..


Is it just me or does it remind you of National Lampoon's Vacation when they forgot the dog was still tied to the back bumper? Apparently these grandparents need a special drunk driving 
course that would include reasons why unauthorized vehicles should not be towed on your trailer hitch and why hindsight is a good thing to have. Remember the time grandpa went to jail for dragging you behind the truck?  Great memory..hope it was fun while it lasted..

Which is worse? Tanning or towing? 
Who do you think deserves the bigger throat punch?


Mayor Gia said...

Ha! The tanning thing is just so ridiculous. I'm hoping she didnt really tan her daughter and we're all just being judgmental because she looks so ridiculous. Can't a tanning salon cut you off? She looks awful! Like a bronze statue - literally, not in that metaphorical sexy sense.

Julie said...

That photo makes me gag a little...excellent throat punch choice!

Joyness Sparkles said...

In my opinion the towing is far worse than the tanning. I found out my stepfather had done similar stupid things with my sons while "babysitting" and he no longer has access to my children alone, actually most of my family does not have access to my children alone for similar reasons of stupidity.

It seems to be an epidemic in some areas.

CoffeeLovinMom said...

I was thinking about someone cutting her off too - bartenders do it when they think people are too toasted. I think you are right about judging her because of her obviously ridiculous choice. We assume she would want that fair skinned child looking more like herself - how does someone not tell her how awful she looks? If she was in my family I would have no problem telling her she is a dumbass.

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Find a video - her voice is no better...tanner and chain smoker is not a good combo I don't think..

CoffeeLovinMom said...

I agree about it being an epidemic - it was impossible to choose just one this week! I think about what could have happened with the girl being did they not? Some people have no common sense, I'm sorry your family are some of those..

Carrie Barton said...

tannin beds r bad for any looks gross.

Krista said...

Tanning Mom: Just gross, really gross! Has she looked in the mirror lately? In retrospect are we surprised that she didn't consider the safety of her dtr at a tanning salon when clearly she has no concept of the dangers of tanning period (see gruesome photo of clueless mom)?

Grandparents: I'm speechless. Thank God the child wasn't hurt. And where are the parents? What's there take on all of this? I hope the grandparents are denied visitation with this child forever.

It's a toss up for the "biggest loser", but I guess it's the grandparents for immediate safety concerns.

Sometimes I think people outta have a license to reproduce...for cryin' out loud you need one to get a dog!

Denise said...

I am constantly amazed by the stupidity if people. Those poor kids.

CoffeeLovinMom said...

I think just to have the girl in the room with her is dangerous - those rays don't stay in that bed..

CoffeeLovinMom said...

You see why I couldn't leave either one out..
I don't think there are mirrors in that house..or family members with any balls..

Reportedly when the dad showed up he yelled at them, probably banning them for life. The girl probably had the time of her life, but she's SEVEN and doesn't know better. Grandma said she was wooting back there the whole time like that makes it better..

I love your blog by the way, I feel so at home there!

Les Botchar said...

oh my word...actually, there are no words. just straight up throat punch. LOL

both are horrendous - but they towing one? s'sly? DH says that gramps' mugshot would most certainly never be able to be published. (he probably fell down the stations stairs or something - yeah, that.)

Teresa Cavanaugh said...

I say the towing is worse, because there is more of a risk of serious injury or death. The tanning is awful. I can believe it though, with shows like "Toddlers and Tiaras"...

Amberr Meadows said...

Hell, even Snooki uses spray tan. That mother looks like what we call down here in the south a "lot lizard." She better not screw her kid up and subject them to a lifetime of skin cancer treatments. The other drunken morons with the kid on the back--wtf? The grandma (or mom?) was on TV totally downplaying the severity of it. Idiots!

Rainy said...

While I think it would be useful to encourage tanning salons to cut off those who are overdoing it, it's not really the same as bartending because tanning doesn't interfere with judgement. A bartender assumes the role of a babysitter in that case. With tanning, it's more like expecting McDonald's to cut a customer off from their fifth Big Mac that week.

I heard her tanning membership was revoked since the accusation, but as far as I'm aware, that would be just to the one place. However, the location is under investigation too, since they are partially responsible if a customer broke the law by allowing a child in a tanning bed. Anyone who owns a tanning salon and has turned on the news will probably not allow her access just for legal reasons. I'm sure she'll find somewhere that will, though.

That being said, I think the mother needs help. She may not have done anything wrong as far as the child is concerned (no one has proven it so far), but no rational woman would tan that much. There's obviously something else at play here.

Ronni said...

I don't even know what to say about either!!! Except they're both horrible. :(

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