Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Coffee Talk On the Go

Last year I had the opportunity of meeting some fabulous women at Bloggy Bootcamp when it came through Chicago including today's Featured Guest Kate Fineske who I started following shortly before the conference.  With her coming all the way from Ohio, I believe things are meant to happen they way they happen and even though our meeting was brief, it was still beneficial.  I knew right away she was someone I would definitely connect with reading her personal blog I just had to have her over and introduce you - especially after meeting her!  I think you will find her writing fresh and genuine, she doesn't hold back any of the mommy moments we all enjoy.  So glad she came back to coffee!  Welcome Kate!!

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Coffee and Motherhood - two of my favorite things! Their main similarity in my mind being that they both are EXTREMELY good at waking me up in the morning. So when Amy asked me to guest post on her blog, of course I said yes! Thank you Amy for inviting me over to your space!  

I blog personally at On-the-Go Momma and I am also a staff member and contributor to the National Association of Mothers' Centers' blog Mothers Central. I hope you all enjoy my version of "Coffee Talk" (from a self-proclaimed, not-so-perfect, coffee-lovin' mother of three). 

On-the-Go Momma

Have you ever tried to quit your coffee habit? Unfortunately I did. Here's my story…

10 Years Earlier
OK. This is it. Done. Over.
(My love affair with coffee that is.)

Because I. Am. Moving on. 
  • Moving on from the exhausting and endless 80-hour work weeks in advertising. 
  • Moving on from late nights out with my friends and my husband.
  • Moving on from all of this, to… 
(Little did I know that motherhood would only increase my work week and my late nights!)

I am going to be a perfect parent… and perfect parenting starts with a perfect pregnancy. Which means NO coffee for me. 

(Yes, I know… when my mother had me she wasn't told to stop drinking coffee. And yes, I know... that even my OB told me in moderation I am fine. Yet in my mind, at that time - it was all or nothing.)

So nothing it was.
And just like that - I quit.

I was determined. (And when I make my mind up about something… I stick to it!)

To my excitement and many a coffee-withdrawal headache later I found myself quickly pregnant (and without coffee.)

And I just knew, I KNEW! that I would be the perfect parent.


Flash forward to 4 years later. We have moved on to a family of four…
and I am still confidently "coffee-less" - though a tad less confident as a parent.

Parenting (and all the unexpected, crazy things that go along with it) are much harder to master than I initially anticipated. I remember thinking that quitting my excessive coffee habit was one of the hardest things I ever had to do...

And then I became a mother.

And I realized, that quitting my coffee habit - didn't even compare.

Quitting coffee was simple. 
It wasn't fun. It wasn't painless. But it was simple in that I knew how to do it. ---> Just stop.

Perfect parenting was ---> the complete opposite.

Parenting in fact was the furthest thing FROM simple, and in hindsight it is quite laughable that I ever thought I could "perfect it," because in parenting: 
  • Everyone has a "parenting opinion"
  • Everyone has parenting advice
  • And often these opinions and advice differ (if not completely contradict each other)
How could I possibly be a perfect parent if I didn't know or have a source for all the "perfect" answers?

And I was beginning to feel lost (and a bit defeated.)

It is now 9 years later and FINALLY - with 3 kids "under my belt"… I feel as though I've found the answer to perfect parenting.

And I know you are all interested… so here it is:

I didn't find it in a book.
Nor did I find it from my OB.
Or my pediatrician.
Or my friends and family members.

Not one of them. (Yet somehow at the same time all of them!)

Because perfect parenting is all about what's right for you. 
And the key to perfect parenting is:

Moderation and being OK with not being perfect.

So it's back.
Not Perfection. But my "love affair" with coffee.
Yet this time it is not a new love, but a knowing love.

I've learned from my abrupt halt of coffee 10 years ago (and from my not-so-sudden entrance into parenting) that extremes can be, well… extreme. And "black and white" always has shades of cream gray.

I now understand and firmly believe in moderation.

I love my kids (even on the hard days).
I enjoy my life (but every day isn't perfect).
AND I allow myself to appreciate my morning coffee (that I so abruptly took away nearly a decade ago) 

And maybe coffee doesn't work for you… but for me, in moderation - it is a gift to help me start my day.

Long live the not-so-perfect mom, and LONG LIVE coffee.

Caption: Come on folks! You can't "stage" this imperfection... all you can do is love it!

Leave a Comment. Have you ever tried to quit drinking coffee? Why???


So happy to have you write here Kate, stop back by for coffee anytime!

You can find Kate on twitter at: @KateFineske

On Facebook at: On-the-Go Momma 

And quite possibly at a future conference near you!  
Go stalk her up so you don't miss out!


Kate F. said...

Thank you SO much for inviting me over to your space today Amy! It was an honor. I can't wait to read the comments and get to meet some of your friends and fans here at your blog! Now, off to get another cup o' joe ;)

Paula Danner said...

"but for me, in moderation - it is a gift to help me start my day" That is exactly how I feel! Perfection is completely over-rated! Great article.

Kate F. said...

Perfection is TOTALLY over-rated :) So glad you enjoyed my guest post!

Jennifer Hall said...

Oh the things we think we know before becoming parents! I really liked this post. Nice to meet you...although I was already following you on Twitter (JenAnnHall)!

Kate F. said...

Hi Jennifer! Yes, I recognize you. I've visited your blog many a time. :) Glad you enjoyed my guest post!

Brittany Stewart said...

The only time I quit, (cut down to one small a day) was while pregnant and nursing both times. And that was kinda hellish.
The man thinks I drink too much, but I think it's necessary.

Such a great post!

Laurathomas61 said...

I tried switching to decaf once. Eww. So I went back to regular and cut back to 2 cups in morning only. Nice to meet you Kate. Following on twitter and your blog.
laura thomas

CoffeeLovinMom said...

I'm really glad you agreed to write for me - I really love your unique way and I know some of my friends will too!

CoffeeLovinMom said...

I only strive for coffee perfection

CoffeeLovinMom said...


CoffeeLovinMom said...

I couldn 't be held responsible if I was switched to decaf..thanks for coming by to meet Kate!

CoffeeLovinMom said...

What do men know? I bet he would change his mind if you had to quit..

Kate F. said...

Nice to "meet you" too! I just followed you back on Twitter. I love meeting new people. I am so honored that Amy invited me over to her blog space. Thanks for reading and for leaving a comment :)

Kate F. said...

I still can't believe that I quit for as long as I did! And my husband STILL drank it every single morning. How in the world did I EVER do that? And the even bigger question is WHY? :) Thanks for reading and leaving a comment on my guest post!

Brittany Stewart said...

Definitely. No one should have to be around me when I haven't had enough coffee..