Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I Don't Do Strong

This from the little girl who cried when Bert fell out of bed.


This from the little girl who bawled when Snoopy didn't come back home.


This from the little girl whose mom had to tell her Lassie wasn't on the air anymore because she would be so distraught with every episode.


This from the girl who spent half the Little House on the Prairie episodes in the bathroom because she couldn't get through an episode without crying.



This from the girl that was crying so hard at the end of E.T. she made her uncle cry (and probably others in the theater).


This from the grown woman who had to stop watching Grey's Anatomy because the last 10 minutes of most episodes made her a complete wreck.


I've always been a crier ever since I was little.  I once cried at an episode of Full House people...Full House.  I was pregnant at the time but still, we're talking Uncle Jessie and Full House..


This is also one of the reasons I choose not to watch the news.  You should see me at the children's productions, people probably think I need to be on medication to put it mildly.


My husband's good friend passed away last week through his own accord and although I want to be strong and support my husband, I'm just not good at it without tears.  A young girl sang Amazing Grace at the wake last night and I lost it.   In my defense, I don't think there was a dry eye in the place.  I don't know if I have extra strong empathy bone or what the deal is but it feels like my heart is breaking every time I see something tragic like Bert falling out of bed, the Shiva episode of Grey's or the death of someone close..especially the way it all went went down.


I feel sorrow for this man's son who found him.


I feel sorrow for his wife who has to deal with the guilt of not knowing it was coming among other things.


I feel sorrow for his unborn grandchild who will never get the chance to know such a kind soul.


I feel sorrow for his mother who survived him and his son in death.


I feel sorrow for my husband having lost a very close friend.


Were we all in denial?  Looking back on the past month or so, it seems like we should have all seen it.  My husband has so many questions that will go unanswered.  I hope I can support him through tears because that's the only way I know how.  I personally don't think crying makes you look weak, and I welcome a good cry every once in awhile but I know to most of the rest of the world crying means weakness so just know this: 


I don't do strong...unless it's regarding my coffee.


Do you see crying as a weakness?


What's your weakness?








29 comments:

Daddy's in Charge? said...

Crying is by no means a weakness, it means you have a heart and feelings. Two things I think make you stronger. I need my coffee weak, I'm a lightweight when it comes to that.

Mercurial Nature said...

I see weakness as a lack of acceptance of ones emotions and the inability to search through thy "why" of them. And I like my coffee strong...with cream. Thankyouverymuch! ;-)

Rhiannon Paille said...

I'm so glad you posted this. I've often wondered in this world of dystopian books and news on every gruesome thing we can possibly point a finger at, if there's anything left in the world that can break a heart. It's good to know that people like you still exist, why? Because unlike the masses, a corpse isn't "cool", blood isn't "awesome" and that shit on CSI isn't "fascinating" it's downright nightmarish. Like you explained, that's someone's friend, brother, husband, father, grandfather. Death is something to cry about, as is most of the other things you mentioned, Grey's especially :) Bert, maybe not so much ;) I don't care what other people think, crying shows that you have a heart, and since when is the heart weak?

The Dude of the House said...

Great post. Strength isn't necessarily a physical measurement of weight nor is it purely emotional. And just because someone cries doesn't mean they aren't strong. In fact, more often than not I've learned that to be the opposite. Condolences to your husband on his loss.


JJ – The Dude of the House
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30Amber_:) said...

Crying is not something to be considered a weakness. So many people are unable to cry. They have that block that keeps them from being able to shed tears when they really need to and want to do so. I am sorry for this family and your husband lost of a good friend.

Mayor Gia said...

I'm so so sorry! To answer your question, even though i KNOW i shouldn't see it as a weakness, I totally do. I HATE crying in front of other people.

Carri said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's friend.

I don't see crying as a weakness even though I think a lot of people do. I'm not a crier by any means, though. I usually cry at home because that's where I feel relaxed enough to let the tension out. One thing I've learned is everyone grieves differently. No way is wrong.

Danielle (or Dee) said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband's friend. Crying does not make you weak. Sometimes we need a good cry to clear out our emotions and think clearer. I think you are twice as strong for openly saying you are a crier, so many people want to look "strong" and cannot admit it. So, you are amazingly strong!

Kimberly said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend.

I certainly don't see crying as a weakness. I'm a crier by nature. I cry at everything. You and I must share that same empathy bone!

Danielle (or Dee) said...

Well said!!

Amber@DirtyLaundry said...

I once cried during Full House too! It was the episode when Uncle Jesse was moving out and Michelle gave him her pig or something...

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Thanks John - I know I make people wonder with how much I cry. The strong stuff is an acquired taste that some people just don't get - I won't hold it against you..

CoffeeLovinMom said...

My husband apologized for breaking down..I told him I would be worried if he didn't.
We are on the same coffee team you and I..

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Thank you Rhiannon for a perspective I didn't think about. I appreciate your insight for real!

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Thanks Dude! I will be checking out your site JJ. I appreciate your comment!

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Thanks Amber - I'm glad to be able to make up for those that are unable to express their emotions. Believe me when I say I more than make up for it..

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Thank you.. I don't like it either but part of me just can't help it..

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Thanks Carri - you are right about everyone grieving differently, I'm just more Captain Obvious than most..

CoffeeLovinMom said...

I agree about the good cry - I usually know when I'm due. I appreciate your support!

CoffeeLovinMom said...

I always put myself in other people's shoes in these types of situations and wonder how they can be so strong...I think we make up for those that can't

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Mine was one when Uncle Jessie's wife was pregnant - the scene was at a park and she was talking about why she loved him and thought he would be a good father. I don't feel so bad that you cried at another episode, thanks for sharing that Amber!

Teresa said...

If crying is a weakness, then I am hanging by a thread here. I cry almost once a week...at least. I have always been that way. You know that holidays Pampers commercial? The one that shows the babies sleeping and someone is singing "Silent Night"? I cry. every. time.

I am sorry for the loss of that man who will be missed by so many. I would have cried just seeing everyone else cry.

Tina Bowling said...

This is an amazing post and I can relate on so many levels. So sorry that you are dealing with a loss right now. I am a major crier too, always have been. Just today, I cried just from a scenario in my own head that didn't even happen. Whenever I think of the possibility of losing my kids or BF I cry instantly. Any sad moment in any movie makes me cry. I cry when other people cry. I do feel like a strong person, though strange right? I really like when you call it a strong empathy bone, I'm going to keep that one :).

Paula said...

One of my sons is a crier and we tell him it is awesome that he can feel things so deeply and healthy to just let out and express his feelings. There is a reason you feel better after a cry. I think it is a strength and something to be cherished. Oh, and my weakness is that I MUST have coffee - black black coffee, sludge if you will - first thing every morning!!

Paula@lkg4sweetspot said...

And, so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is really hard to see coming sometimes.

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Teresa, I was! I cry at least once a week too! I could watch the last 10 minutes of It's a Wonderful Life and cry every time..I love that we share this in common - are you a sensitive Pisces too?

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Thanks Tina! I cry thinking about my kids getting older let alone when they move out or godforbid something bad ever happened. My daughter thinks she will live with us forever at the moment so I'm keeping that while I can get it!

CoffeeLovinMom said...

Thanks Paula! My son is sensitive that way too..I would call that black sludge your stong point!

Teresa said...

Nope, just a passionate Leo :)

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