Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Pretty Sneaky, Sis..

My kids are now 7 and 9 - apparently the ages where manipulation begins to take on a whole new degree of calculated and sneaky.  The little white lies are running around like wild fire, or truth not being told at all in half stories. I am finding things like nail polish remover out of place that I've specifically asked her about in a drawer in my daughter's room.  I even had the pleasure of peeling a 5 inch rubberized sticky pink scorpion looking thing that was purchased in a gumball machine for 50 cents off the kitchen ceiling after telling them repeatedly not to throw it at the walls or ceiling. I promptly told my son to throw it in the garbage, and watched him do it, only to have the thing re-surface days later while dusting the piano.  (He probably figured it would be safe there because I don't dust often.)



In any case, this is a sneaky situation that is finding it's way in a little too often for my taste and I'm about sure talking until I'm blue in the face is not going to affect the progression because it's obvious all they hear is Charlie Brown's teacher yapping at them from across the table.  This proven just yesterday after having a nice discussion about it with both of them using the aforementioned examples, letting them know that being deceiving was not going to be tolerated, thinking I was nipping it in the bud when my son decided to take over an hour to do a math page because I wasn't sitting on him at the table to get it done.  Instead he played, sang songs and took nibbles off the piece of cake I put on the counter (as incentive for him to get it done faster which backfired for obvious reasons, I remember being 9) for when he finished his page that he bragged would be easy because he only had to do the even problems.  After coming back into the kitchen to see that he wasn't even near done, I decided that my actions would make a better point.  I threw the cake in the garbage, closed the math book and told him to go to his room - this affected him immediately.  He started crying probably more about the cake than having to go to his room because this still got him out of the homework page he was stalling to finish in the first place.  I followed this with telling him he would have to explain to his dad why he was up there before he could work on his homework again.  Is hoping that holding himself accountable for his actions will possibly make him think about it next time too much to ask?


I have a feeling that this will be a frequent thing around here and remembering my own childhood I know it's only just begun. They seem to both be enjoying pulling one over.  Maybe there is nothing I can do about it but respond to it when it happens but this bothers me being so much more of a pro-active parent.  I would rather not be reacting to things but put something in place to prevent it from happening in the first place.  I realize that it's a natural reaction for a child to try to cover up a mistake or not to tell the whole truth when nobody is asking the specific question that will get them in trouble.  I just feel like they are at an age now where I should be able to trust that they know certain things and yet in the same respect it's because they know certain things that they are able to get away with being sneaky so it really is a double edged sword.  They are getting too smart thinking they are getting away with something by out smarting mom and dad!


So my question to you is: How do you deal with this unavoidable sneaky situation in your house?


19 comments:

ErinPatrick said...

This post just made me laugh. I had this occur so many times while raising my 6. I was able to trick them for a long time before they caught on!! I would ask them, "Is there something you want to tell me? Because I already know and I will go easier on you if you fess up now!" You wouldn't believe how long that one worked. But once they found me out, it was all over for me!
~Erin

Jamie said...

I made up a lie fairy for anything I needed, it worked for a bit. I've decided it's all in the childs disposition and we have zero control over it! Helps me sleep anyway!

Amy said...

Good question! If you get any great solutions, send them my way, please!

oomph. said...

kids nowadays are too smart for their own good! my 3-yr old loves to "pull one one me" all the time...not to mention the 11 yr old! it has been an rough couple of years...hang in there, too!

[oomph.]
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Kimberly said...

Kids are really too smart for their own good. I'm curious if you get any solutions, as I'm dealing with the same thing with my son.

coffeelovinmom said...

I feel like I've been able to stay one step ahead of them until this year...tell me it's not all downhill..

MotherhoodTruth said...

I was going to comment and say I really hope you follow up with the answers you get but it looks like we are all stumped here....none of our kids know how to get to our blogs do they? If they see we are all admitting we don't know what to do we are really screwed.

ErinPatrick said...

Good luck then, sister! Just pray that God shows you when they're up to something!!! :0)

coffeelovinmom said...

I've used the old standby I can tell by your tongue but it's getting old.

coffeelovinmom said...

It's not looking so good so far, but if I do, I will

coffeelovinmom said...

Agreed, and they are working at almost the same rate her being 2 years younger that really scares me..

coffeelovinmom said...

I was gonna say that too. I will let you know if I hear any possible solutions or come up with my own.

coffeelovinmom said...

Ha - I sure hope not...what happens on the blog stays on the blog right??

datingdivasites said...

I think you are doing all the right things. When you say I will do this or that when you do this or that and follow through it does the following. 1. it teaches a child that they can trust you to keep your word. Good or bad..punishment or reward. 2. It also helps them learn there are consequences for actions. Many parents do not discipline their children and these kids never learn to follow and obey rules. stick to your guns and say what you mean and mean what you say
. Enjoy this time..it passes so fast!!! You will blink and they will be gone. You're a great Mom.. I can tell..;)

Kate F. said...

Stay strong and stay firm. It sucks to be the mean mom - but at least they know you mean it??? I am getting ready to be at the same place (with my 8 1/2 year old and a 5 year old) So I am in no place to offer advice... only to learn. So PLEASE share your successes??? :)

coffeelovinmom said...

Thanks Liz - that article you sent was great too! I always mention the natural consequences when they happen and follow through is KEY for sure..

coffeelovinmom said...

I would much rather be the mean mom than the friend mom who wants to be everyone's friend..I will definitely at least share my experiences and maybe you can learn from them!

take2mommy said...

I wish I had advice for you. My 7YO is doing the exact same thing. He thinks he's being so slick all the time, sneaking things past me, deceiving us, telling little lies. I bust him all the time, and I lecture him about it, but he keeps doing it. #littledevil

Shaitans Muse said...

*effect

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